|Photography by Emilie Rudy|
The day after the Big Event instead of finding myself feeling elated and joyful, I felt awful. I looked at the mold on the ceiling, I thought about my degrading work situation and I wondered just what the hell am I doing here in Richmond, Virginia anyway!?!? I called my friend Jillian to discuss.
Jillian is the right kinda girl to call when you're thinking about making a big leap. In 2005 she sold most of her stuff and bought a one-way ticket to India. And just a few years before that she again sold most of her stuff and moved across the country with her then boyfriend. Jillian is a whimsical person and she inspired me to wear bright colors rather than the earth tones I was accustomed to. If not for Jillian's enthusiasm to GO FOR IT, I would have never followed through with making giant adult sized hula hoops, it would have remained in my notebook full of good ideas. So I called her up and we talked about maybe heading out to California to study with Iona for a while. That idea never panned out because a few weeks later, at around five in the morning, I got a text from Jillian letting me know that she had gotten married. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend...!
After chatting with Jillian I left my apartment to met up with a friend for lunch. It wasn't until I was out and about that strange and interesting happenings began to occur in rapid succession. I guess you could call it extreme synchronicity. I found myself running into people who I hadn't seen in years and a lot of these folks there was some lingering negativity left over from some previous unskillful interaction. In a state of grace, I let my heart soften to all of these people just so naturally. I didn't care to hold a grudge. Along with these interesting meetings came intense waves of energy through my body or a numbing effect. Like my head would get super tingly or my left arm would go numb right before something odd was about to happen. I made a joke that I was experiencing a "Karma Tornado" only later understanding that yes, that was exactly what was happening... I also found myself just knowing things that I shouldn't know. For instance, I knew I was going to be in car accident.
It was 6am and I was on my way to the river with my dog, Henry. My ex-boyfriend's house is tucked inside a nature preserve and public park. Several miles of well kept trails wind through a forest, meadow, pond and along the James River, The King's River as it once was called by the Powhattan band of Algonquin Indians as well as the early English settlers, referring to two very different Kings of course. When I lived in the house with him, I walked those trails every day with Henry, The Prince of the Wetlands, a title befitting of this very fine yellow Labrador specimen. I was on my way there to do some chi flow exercises and to return Henry to my ex after our weekend together. Something inside of me just knew that I was about to be rear-ended.
WHAM. I was the first car stopped at a stoplight at the intersection of Jahke and Forest Hill Avenue. Henry fell down to the floor of the back seat as my vehicle lurched forward into the intersection. With luck the intersecting traffic had yet to start rolling and so I was able to recover rather quickly without further collision. A bit discombobulated, I got out of my car to see what had happened. My first inclination was to be PISSED at the driver who caused this wreck. It was actually the car behind me that had been rear-ended and absorbed most of the impact, my bumper was crushed but the car behind me was totaled. A few deep breaths and I was able to shift out of my angry reaction and into a mode of crisis intervention. Luckily no one was seriously injured, turns out the driver of the offending vehicle had dropped his cell phone and was reaching for it when the collision occurred.
This was the kind of scenario that could go horribly wrong for all the wrong reasons. If any of us there had let our attachment to personal property and our schedules get in the way of being decent human beings, it could have gotten very Jerry Springer, very fast. An already chaotic scene was tempered and soothed by my willingness to squash the drama and have compassion. Of course the whole shebang was laden with even more odd and interesting synchronicity... My life just went on like that for about two weeks.
The intensity died down and it seemed like life was getting back to what I had previously known as Normal. Actually my Kundalini Awakening was just getting started. Normal was now completely redefined. I had embarked on a long strange trip, one that would activate and purify my chakras. No longer would "Chakra" be a concept that I had only a vague intellectual understanding of, I now had real life experiential relationship with my chakras in my physical body. I didn't have a map of how a Kundalini Awakening would unfold, I had to figure it out with my own wily wit and admittedly, I wasn't always in full possession of my that...
I could write AN ENCYCLOPEDIA about the lessons I have learned (still learning) about myself and my personal karma, karma in general, compassion, love, free will, the mind/body connection, expansion and contraction... Light and Dark. Good and Evil. Fear and Trust. Duality, Mother Earth and the true power of humanity. Through willingness to change and face my own phoniness, I am reclaiming my original nature as a powerful Light Bearer of Love and I am developing methods for others to do so if they so choose.
If the end result sounds good to you get started by bringing your awareness to your body, get in your body! The rest will fall into place, (PAY ATTENTION!) in perfect order, with your own special "flavor". My spiritual awakening probably tastes a lot like Chai, Curry, nectar, sunshine, blood, feces and dirt... Its like one of those "Blizzard" concoctions. Hey, I have to be completely honest here, if you are going through a spiritual awakening, it is very likely that you will occasionally eat shit but that the next sip will taste better and then you'll eat shit again. And then you'll sip honey. And then more shit. Bon Appetit!